I was talking with my good friend and colleague,
Kristi Spaethe, this week, about how "work colleagues are not your family." She mentioned boundaries, and I mentioned that not everyone loves their family, and newsletters were born. You can read her newsletter
here, and read mine below.
When I work with companies I often hear "Our employees are just like family!" I also see that in job listings and in marketing. For some, "being like family" is not an advantage or something to seek out - it's a red flag to run from.
In the difficult battle for quality talent, the last thing a company wants to do is drive away good prospects.
1. Not everyone likes or loves their family. More than a few folks have been traumatized by their family.
At least 1 in 7 children have experienced child abuse or neglect in the past year in the United States. And,
one in four Americans is estranged from a family member. Those folks likely don't want to re-create their family dynamic at work.
2. Families are dysfunctional. Ask anyone who has a family-owned business. The people in charge are not necessarily the best candidates for leadership - they're simply born into it. And, your great uncle Larry is likely not the best corporate attorney, but you're stuck with him. Why would anyone want to re-create that, or the perception of it, in a company?
3. Saying your company is "like family" sets up inappropriate expectations for employees. I'd drop whatever I was doing for a family member, and I'd understand if they weren't performing up to my expectations at our Dirty Santa gathering. In a company, however, you get written up or terminated for nonperformance. And, no one drops what they're doing to come and get you when your car breaks down 3 states away.
If you're someone who uses the "we are like family" language at your company, it's important to ask yourself why and use those answers to describe your culture in more realistic terms. In reality, employees are attracted to company cultures where there is a sense of community and authentically unified purpose. Employees want to be supported, have clear expectations, and have the tools they need to do their jobs. They also want to be respected and trusted to do their jobs. Leaders should communicate as effectively, often, and as transparently as situations allow. And, listen, because people want to be heard.
This is hard, and in the long run will pay off, because the best strategy in the world won't outrun a poor culture.
