I get lots of calls from clients about the things that keeps them up at night, and very close to the top of that list is haters. If you're successful, you have folks who envy you. They are people who question your choices, often publicly. They are people who are sure that you have cheated to get wherever you have gotten. Maybe they were formerly friends, then frenemies, and now haters. Sometimes they are our bosses or other authority figures. Like crabs in a barrel, they want to drag us down from the heights, so we can splash around with them in their insecurity. 

I started winning awards in 6th grade, and they just kept coming, and along with the awards came the haters. A few years ago when my mother sent me my academic records from the school district I attended, I realized my first hater came in the form of my 6th grade teacher, who evaluated me brutally on an academic evaluation. I was 11. 

Haters are people who turn up like bad pennies when we're just going about our lives. We all have them. Now, let's talk about what to do about them. 

• Feel your feelings. It hurts when someone doesn't care for us and says things that are hurftul. It also hurts to be misunderstood. 
• It's not just you. This is normal in the sense that it happens to so many of us, but it is not "normal," in that it's not acceptable behavior. 
• Have a sit down with your hater. Give them a chance. LIke a bully in the schoolyard, often they're hurting, and If we give them an opportunity to begin to heal, we all win. Restorative Justice practices come in handy here. In my area, that's the Restorative Justice Institute of OK. 
• Get and stay grounded. Use your coping mechanisms. Talk to a trusted friend or therapist, go for a run, dig in your garden, read - whatever keeps you from ruminating, because rumination is not your friend and can take you to some dark, negative places, and that helps no one.  
• Finally, continue to be yourself. Don't respond. Don't join the drama. Take the high road, because the only thing you can control in this scenario is yourself. Strive to approach the person who envies you and yourself with empathy and compassion. 

As leaders I hope we can foster a culture and community that is supportive of each others' achievements, rather than cultivate the envy and insecurity that so many of us have experienced along the way.